There are a few things that every school leader knows. Behavior incidents spike before a holiday. Teachers love a fresh set of Expo markers. Students are more engaged in school when their families are, too. 

This last point, of course, is more than a well-known anecdote. Over the past few decades, dozens of studies have shown that increased family engagement improves outcomes for students—and from this research has grown a set of solid best practices that schools use today. Positive phone calls home, once a rarity, are now a common occurrence. Parent-teacher conferences are now frequently hybrid events, and many school districts have found creative ways to provide flexible opportunities for families to volunteer at their child’s school.

But if we zoom out a little bit, the relationship between your schools and its families goes beyond family engagement. In this issue, we’ve been focusing on experiential marketing: creating memorable moments that impress people and get them talking. But to build positive relationships with your district’s families, it’s not enough to wow them a few times a year at events like the first day of school and graduation. The small, seemingly inconsequential moments matter, too—whether it’s navigating your school website, picking their child up from school or voting in a bond election.

This article is an exploration of just that: the summation of a family’s day-to-day interactions with your schools. We’ll unpack who today’s families are, what they want and a few ways you can provide a better daily experience for such a valuable part of your community. 

Who are today’s families, anyway? 
If you watch an afternoon school pickup, one reality of American family life should become apparent pretty quickly: No family looks identical to the next. The “typical” family has diversified a lot in the past few decades, a trend that doesn’t show any sign of abating. In the U.S., fewer adults are marrying, more single individuals are having children, and more children are likely to live in blended families, with at least one parent who has children from another marriage. What’s more, 6.7 million people—just over 3% of all adults over 30—now live in the same household as their grandchildren.  

This means that for many children now, home life looks vastly different than it did a few decades ago. After all, in 1970, 67% of Americans aged 25-49 were living with their spouse and at least one child under 18. By 2021, that number had dropped to 37%. Plus, the average number of children under 18 per family has decreased. Sibling relationships have also shifted—the average age gap between siblings has climbed to 4.2 years. 

This is a lot of data all to say that families—a critical part of your schools—have changed and will continue to change. The question is: Has your district’s approach to families changed, too?

What do families want?
While there is little data on what families have historically wanted for their children, what families want now may not match your expectations as a school leader. According to recent research by Pew Research Center, parents ranked the following as their biggest fears regarding their child (in order): struggling with anxiety and depression, being bullied, and being kidnapped or abducted.  While 88% of parents say that it’s either extremely or very important that their children be financially independent as adults, only 41% of them say that it’s either very or extremely important for their children to earn a college degree. In thinking about the kinds of people they want their children to be as they grow up, parents in the survey were most likely to choose “honest and ethical.” 

And naturally, not every family wants the same thing. In the Pew study, individuals’ perceptions of parenthood and worries for their children varied by race and ethnicity. Parents’ income levels also impacted their feelings about parenthood, with lower-income families reporting much more concern about their children becoming victims of gun violence or getting in trouble with the police. 

This information is probably not all surprising to you. But we want to illustrate that as a group, families are incredibly diverse and incredibly complex. Responding to their needs takes more than a one-size-fits-all approach; it requires some close research into your own community. 

Building Solid impressions with Families
As a school leader, you spend a lot of time thinking about the student and staff experience at your school. It can be daunting to know that your broader community, including your families, has an experience that should be considered, too. Here are three strategies to get in the right headspace to understand, address and improve family engagement in schools.

1.  Know your community beyond demographics and anecdotes.
It’s important to note that the demographics we cited earlier were part of a nationwide study. While parts of your own community’s interests and desires will align with the findings above, others won’t. To understand what your community wants from your schools, ask them directly—whether through a survey, focus group or some other means. The important thing is to think carefully about what you’re asking and how you plan on responding. Some questions you might consider asking your community include:

2. Have a system for sharing and addressing speed bumps.
In her book Impact Players, author Liz Wiseman writes about the concept of an ambient problem: a “low-grade problem that erodes productivity” or “the leaky faucet of the work world.” More often than not, no one is responsible for solving ambient problems; it’s easier to work around them than to find a solution. They often result in “recreational complaining,” in which people vent but don’t expect a resolution. If they’re occurring, ambient problems could be having a big impact on families’ overall experience in your schools. 

Ask yourself what kinds of ambient problems may be hurting your district’s overall experience. Do school start times vary wildly between campuses, making drop-off difficult for families with children in multiple schools? Do families complain that they don’t know where to call when school offices are closed for the summer? Are your schools’ forms impossible to access on mobile? Identifying and solving these pain points can do a lot to improve the impression your families have of your district.

Collecting and tracking these small problems is challenging but worth it. If you’re in a smaller district, it may be enough to have an item in the weekly cabinet agenda to talk about what speed bumps your families are running into. If your district is large enough, it may make more sense to invest in an internal ticketing software that allows any staff member to report a problem. This way, there’s no chance of an issue being lost or misunderstood as it’s passed up the ladder.

Although these kinds of problems may seem insignificant to you, know that they may feel bigger to a parent or family who encounters them regularly in their interactions with your school. Addressing these problems as readily as possible, even when they’re small, helps to build a culture of customer service in your district, showing families that you care.

3. Create family engagement programs that build connections.
We’ve established that families have shifted over time, but have your districts’ activities shifted, too? And if not, what can you do? To give you some inspiration, let’s take a look at one program that has radically changed how families experience their children’s schools.

In 1998, after an incident of gun violence occurred at a middle school across the state, a few dads in northwest Arkansas were determined to contribute to their children’s safety. With the guidance of their local principal and superintendent, they formed an initiative for their campus, and the idea very quickly spread throughout the state and eventually the country. They decided to name the group “WATCH D.O.G.S. - Dads of Great Students.” While the families’ initial concerns were around school safety, the dads quickly became just as interested in helping with other aspects of the school day. 

In the three decades since, schools have evolved—and so has Watch D.O.G.S. When we spoke to President Jim Walters and Senior National Program Developer John LeBoeuf, they were quick to share that, in their view, anyone of good character can be a “dad” as defined by Watch D.O.G.S. The organization creates its program starter kits—all the materials a school needs to start a local program—to be as inclusive as possible. “We focus on dads, but mostly because dads haven’t historically been involved with their kids’ schools in the same way moms have,” Walters explains. “They often feel awkward in schools and always don’t know, until an administrator invites them in, how to engage with their kids at school.” 

Once a school has completed the requirements to start a Watch D.O.G.S. program, the superintendent or principal puts out a call for volunteers. Then, dads can sign up for a single day of volunteering. Schools have the authority to decide how much they want their volunteers to be involved. Some use volunteers to help with bus loading, others to lead games and activities during recess. Still others enlist the dads as classroom volunteers. At the end of each shift, every volunteer shares their experience through a survey.

For Walters, these end-of-day surveys demonstrate how increased family engagement can drastically change how families see their children’s schools. “The comments are incredible,” he says. “So much of the time it’s, ‘I had no idea how hard this is for teachers,’ or, ‘I had no idea how much goes on!’ And so many of them are eager to sign up for another day as soon as they can.” 

When Walters’ children were in elementary school, his wife heard their school was starting a chapter of Watch D.O.G.S. and suggested he volunteer for a day. “I was honestly so reluctant. But it changed my life,” Walters tells SchoolCEO. “After each volunteer day, I found myself not only reflecting on how my kid was at school, but also all the other incredible kids that I had met. The rest was history.” Walters went on to become active with his school’s PTA and eventually took his leadership position at Watch D.O.G.S. Once his children began graduating from school, Walters continued to meet with his initial group of dads, but also the new generation of father figures stepping up to serve.

A volunteer program should enlist helping hands, but—like Watch D.O.G.S.—it should also strengthen the ties between your families and your schools. Experiences like this change how families view your district, even if they only participate a fraction of the time. As you think about how to build programs to bring in a larger subset of your families, think about how best to structure them to reach members who can’t typically attend. Often, these are the people who need to be a part of your community the most. 

The Best Years of Our Lives
I am a parent of a preschooler, and this spring, I closed out my first year as a member of our local school community. On the first day,  I felt conflicted about sharing my wonderful little girl with a building full of strangers. As I watched her walk into her first classroom, drenched from a rainstorm and still wearing her duck raincoat, my heart was in my throat. Would she be cared for? Would she be listened to?

Although there were a few bumps, we had a wonderful school year. In May, I felt nothing but gratitude to the many adults who cherished and taught her throughout the year. I felt lucky to be a part of our school community and excited to do it again. 

In serving as a school leader, you have the unique opportunity to positively impact so many families in your community. If you are successful in building a school experience that—moment by moment—makes families feel cared for, you will build relationships that last long after each family graduates their youngest child.